Mini-budget
film about a pair of young people going away for the weekend in Scotland. The
lady-person is pregnant. She also sees strange ghost-like apparitions and hears
creepy noises.
Bad
enough, but I'd much rather deal with spectres than some mewling womb-potato.
Speaking as a former child, I say with some authority that they're horrid
little bastards and should be kept in a box until they're 25. Occasionally coming out for meals and daylight. A bit like a big, pink Blue Peter tortoise
or something.
With such
a strong paternal instinct, it may surprise you to discover I'm not a father.
If I was, I wouldn't have time to watch all this old shit, or stay up to 3am on
the Playstation. Which is much better than having some angry, crayon-midget,
who shit themselves five times a day and then demand you buy them everything.
Fucking
hell, read the above, I'm enough of a selfish, needy twat as it is, this house
definitely doesn't need rapid moving mini versions of me to make it worse.
Although
I suppose it could inherit my laziness and just sit there like some sort of gurgling flesh-cup waiting to have milk poured into it then being content to
sleep most of the time.
So, it is
decided, my theoretical child will be a soft-willed lactovore, who will develop
an appreciation of crap films, Playstation games, masturbation, blended whisky,
crisps and writing anti-social nonsense on a barely read blog four decades
after it flops into this world.
Sounds
like quite an awesome person after all.
Oh yeah,
the film.
It's
actually about the woman's descent into mental wobblyness rather than the
demonic status of her unborn skin-nugget. It's low budget and the edges could
do with sharpening, but the acting was better than expected, particularly Carina
Birrell who was the troubled mum-to-be, the camera made great use of the
beautiful locations and the story has a greater depth and maturity than the
silly title would suggest.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3137732/
6.5/10
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